Troy and Alex - People love to hate haters who love hating lovers?

Pokemon love song

2009-12-13T21:33:00.001-08:00

Hi this is something my neighbor wrote after i showed him the 'mario kart love song' Chords for it are C, G, Am, F just repeated. The lyrics are okay, sounds good when he sings it. :D

__________________________________

The Pokemon Love song
A pokemon adventure, looking for your heart
Never noticed your eyes they shine, like pikachu's spark
They light up a cave like, someone is using flash
But my heart feels like geodude's, using rock smash.

And when you smile my heart is, in a whirlpool
But I guess that comes with having, a tentacool
When you walk past, it always gives me butterfree's
My heart is beating like taurus running free

Let's take a trip to the pokemart
Some supplies to mend this broken heart
We'll buy a potion for later on
I loved you more then i did pokemon

The gym leaders keep coming, if you fall
If your pokemon can't go on, i'll throw a pokeball
I'll be hero if you need me, but i know you wont
I just want you to see, that i love you, more then pokemon

Let's take a trip to the pokemart
Some supplies to mend this broken heart
We'll buy a potion for later on
I loved you more then i did pokemon

Let's take a trip to the pokemart
Some supplies to mend this broken heart
We'll buy a potion for later on
I loved you more then i did pokemon

________________________________

Oh also that was written in 15 minutes. Cool.

Exactly

2009-12-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the person who drew this.

Troy, fuck this.

Well that's creepy

2009-12-08T19:59:00.001-08:00

So here's what it would be like if Emily Canning and Jordan Cohen get married and have kids. That's creepy..

http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=emily+cohen&init=quick#/emmeline.harris?ref=search&sid=1247947108.777434494..1

Troy, OUT!

Wikky wikky wild, right? heh..

2009-12-07T01:03:00.001-08:00

Hey, so i wanna talk about something outdated. Parents sending kids to their room is ridiculous nowadays, like
'go to your room and play on your computer connected to the internet and social network!' It doesn't rly work.
I think rove talked about this back when it was on but it's a good point, unless you clear out the kids room completely!

You know what would be more effective? 'Go outside into the fresh air and excercise!'
And you'll get kids screaming 'Nooo fresh air, it burns!'

But personally i like it outdoors in summer when it's cool at least before the mosquitoes come. Use it as a threat for all i care 'Clean your room or get eaten alive by mosquitoes in the fresh air *evil laugh.'

Also some people aren't always as nice as they appear. I'm out.

To download.

2009-11-27T22:15:00.000-08:00

Updated list of music i need to get. I can't find a lot of it :/

The hint
Hit the lights
FM static
Stereo skyline
Nice guys finish first
Holiday parade
There for tomorrow
FOB believers never die (greatest hits)
The summer obsession
Kill paradise
Scenes and sirens
You me at six
Hey monday
Honor society
The goodnight anthem
The maine
Taking back Sunday

It's like 20 albums in total cos some bands have more then one.

Far out brussel sprout, calm down charlie brown.

2009-11-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

Omgoshhhh, you don't know how hard it is (that's what shadman said) to blog about something that isn't my every day life. Like it's easy to go on about what happened to you, but after 115 posts, this blog is wasteddddd LOL.

Anyway you know what annoys me, people writing deep and meaningful shit on their msn 'you'retheoniwant'
'iloveyou'
You know it's stupid, makes me wanna put mine as something like
'I'd rly enjoy nailing you'

Yeahh anyway another really bad thing it think i do. Whenever i'm not happy and i see a massivly obese guy i think 'wow my life isn't so bad' i mean i would never say it, but it's still not very nice!

Is there a keg in your pants cos i'd sure like to tap that ass! Troy, OUT!

#Whatdoyoudo

2009-11-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

I found this on twitter under #Whatdoyoudo:

Click to enlarge.

Edward Cullen's Sperm

2009-11-19T00:27:00.000-08:00

Yeah the title gets you excited doesn't it?

Twilight, New Moon, whatever! No one has noticed the main problem with Edward Cullen. HE DOESN'T HAVE PROTEIN RIGHT? COS HE DOESN'T NEED IT. He's a vampire so we get told he doesn't need protein. But you know what DOES need protein.. Sperm. So his sperm would basically die straight away, i don't think you can have a kid Edward! I DONT THINK YOU CAN.

So next time you see this guy:

Remember that behind his cool composer and charming smile.. HE HAS NO SPERM.

Troy, OUT!

El oh el

2009-11-14T19:22:00.001-08:00

Was reading blogsecret cos i saw the link on some blog and this was on there

12561.) you said we’d move in together when we’re older and all that, but i know that’s a load of bull when you chose dota over me.

Guy chooses an online game over a girl. GOOD CHOICE.

Stay up all night with the stars

2009-11-14T01:16:00.001-08:00

So it's getting harder to write about stuff? *Sighh, not a great mood right now.
I know i'm all emo sometimes, i think Cohen gets kind of pissed when i'm not happy a lot.

ANYWAY NOW YOU'RE ALL DEPRESSED.

EMO KIDS.
So the emo genre is kind of different how you look at it. We all know how it started:

Maybe it's just how you dress, or maybe it solves out problems:

Let's face it, everyone's going emo now:

Seems to be almost as popular as getting ripped in 4 weeks!

HAHAHAHAHAH. Na i'm full of shit though, cos emo/screamo music is good, and i guess the syle is alright. But not okay to cut yourself, yeah? No matter how down you are.

Happy after fuming, Troy OUT!

Getting in on with an alpaca

2009-11-09T01:09:00.000-08:00

Lisa kissed an alpaca, and i kissed a cat. The cat loved it :D

Anyway not to ramble on, but adjectives can make things fun. You can use some pretty crazy adjectives but i'm in a pretty bad mood. See i COULD say a pretty 'rambunctious' mood, and it changed things up. Or i'm a very teen angsty person, but my point is. This guy is the king of adjectives hahahahahah.

Click to enlarge.

Troy, OUT!

Have i ever told you, that i love you?

2009-11-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

Hm anyway i would like to talk about something. Get me so far? No? Of course you do.

Dear Gu.
You're so beautiful it's crazy. I don't care that you're black, it doesn't stop you being skinny and sexy. I could use you all night long seriously. I love your neck, it's long and smooth and running my hand up it feels so right, even though it has a few dots on it. Your head has a great shape to it and your body has all the right curves. I'm glad that it was easy to pick you up cos now i can't live without you and you give me so much pleasure. We've been through a few problems like when you got scratched and i had to nurse you back to health, and the time i broke your G-string while fingering a minor.

Who realised i was talking about my guitar? Epic personification, right? :D

Troy, OUT!

Oh reery!

2009-10-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

YES YES NO MAYBE! Anyway, i've been in the process of getting my video blog up and running which is proving hard because of 'technical' problems. So i havn't been bothered posting but i'd like to give you some 'letters to crushes' that i found funny. I wrote one of them.

pants,
i think i fell for you, and in case of a zombie attack, i hope i’m near you, and i hope it brings us close, and i hope we have to repopulate the earth just you and me. and i hope you’re up for it.

bret easton ellis,
just you being there, hugging me, listening to my deepest secret and not judging me meant the world. i love you more than anything. even though you’re the laziest person i know and sometimes i really want to punch you.

Anonymous
I'm crazy about you. Also i need your help because i'm failing maths.

Boy
Woah i didn't realise you were a robot, seriously all that sex we had and i didn't even realise. I mean i'm blind so i couldn't actually see but you'd think i would've realised.

N.
You have the most gorgeous smile, and it still gives me butterflies. I'm sorry i couldn't be.. who you need.

Troy, out..

Sipder Man. Spleeing errors not indended.

2009-10-13T02:31:00.001-07:00

Anyway so i'm thinking about making this a VIDEO BLOG would you guys like to see me doing stupid things like blending pizza and eating it and discussing random topics with my badly edited self? It's an idea. Yes or no?

So anyway i was planning to blog about abnormal facial features but it's not something to be laughed at, it can leave you looking like this:

Gross enough? Troy, OUT!

Some things.

2009-10-09T02:29:00.000-07:00

Banana, guitar, ipod, poster, maple syrup.

...

...

They are some things, i just got 1 view and wasted 20 seconds of your time. I'm so evil :D

Dun ununununununun Assumtion man.

2009-10-06T18:44:00.000-07:00

Ryan says this blog is pointless, so of course it must be, cos world of warcraft has a point! YEAH i went there.

Anyway 10 things you don't know about me:

1) I am secretly a ninja robot who can love.
2) I can transform and rollout at will. Unfortunately only into a toaster oven.
3) I am behind you right now.
4) How many people turned around?
5) I am secretly a superhero names Assumtion man who fell for his partner, Logic Girl.
6) Look out there's a bomb.
7) I once fought a bear, waoh livin on a prayer.
8) I can't write numbers past 8.

Anyway 10 things to piss people off:

1) Put water on their bed
2) Put yellow water on their bed
3) Put Shelly on their bed
4) Dedicate a blog to their abnormal facial features (coming soon.. ha kidding ;D)
5) Take them to a restraunt for their birthday blindfolded and get the waiter to say 'So sir, you're here for the vasectomy?'
6) Put red clothes in with the whites.. Muahahahahaha!
7) Tell them you can't count past 7.

It's the holidays and you expect me to write something entertaining? Think again ;D

Troy, OUT!

miserabilia aka the other google blog

2009-10-01T03:05:00.000-07:00

just a few images i can't upload them all right now cause my internet is shoddy

Shrodingers cat...

2009-09-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

Shrodinger was a scientist who put a cat in a box. Simple enough right? Well in that box there was poison that was set to be released at a random time. Because the status of the cat was unknown it was said to be both alive and dead at the same time. The only way to know is to open the box.

Yes yes very witty poster :L

So Daniel introduced me to the idea of Shrodingers cat as a metaphor for something. It basically means the only way to know if something is right is to 'open the box' .. Just act and if it's meant to be you'll know.

Personally i hate the metaphor and it makes me annoyed but i thought i'd share it with you in case you ever needed advice and the only thing you can think of are metaphors because you've been injected with a 'metaphor syrum' much like truth syrum but without copyright infringement.

TROY, OUT ! :D

Know your tractor, know your lounge.

2009-09-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

Today we watched that tractor video in ag, it was funny for a while then we got freaked out and started seizuring because of repetitiveness. Anyway, here are some more things you have to know:

You've got to know your tractor, know your ground.

You've got to know your sexual orientation, know your ground.

You've got to know your insane english teacher called ms Nicholls, know your ground.

You've go to know your haircut, know your ground.

You've got to know your elevator weight limit when riding with obese children, know your ground.

You've got to know your insane parents who make completely ridiculous decisions based on nothing that don't help anybody and don't make any sense and you can't argue with because they will not change their mind because of course they are always right, know your ground.

Basically trying to avoid this.

....And this i guess?

That was pointless ;D
Troy, OUT!

Much Ado About Nothing.

2009-09-28T00:00:00.001-07:00

Why is Ms Nicholls a virgin? Because no one wants to have grammatically correct sex.

Anywayy, if i could go back in time. I think that's completely stupid. One, you can't go back in time, and Two, that was just like totally wreck the point of experience. You can't get experience without consequences. Duh.

Andd, the phrase 'Back the the future' it's not really going back it's 'forward to the future again' but i guess naming a movie that would lose lots of appeal.

Now everyone print one of these and wear it when needed okay? :D

Troy, OUT!

You can't spell DESTROY without des.

2009-09-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of a polar bear hugging a wolf.

LOL, Troy.

Things that will fuck you over AGAIN :D

2009-09-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

Yeah so i wrote one of these posts before and it was really good but here i go.

-Drink driving
-H0lding hands with the same sex, while you're straight.
-Extremely obese people in speedos.
-Drink driving while holding hands by an extremely obese guy in speedos.
-Super hot girls
-Falling for confusing girls
-Making girls angry
-Falling for a super hot, confusing girl and making her angry.
-Fighting people bigger then you
-Fighting Mel's boyfriend
-Actually Mel's boyfriend is nice, but he can fight.
-Fighting Mel's boyfriend who is bigger then you and even though nice, he can fight.
-Getting in strange cars
-Stangers that offer you candy
-Black cars that absorb heat in summer.
-Getting in strange black cars that absorb the heat owned by strangers offering you candy.
Let's put it together :D

Drink driving while holding hands with a guy in speedos while falling for a super hot confusing girl and making her angry, then having to fight Mel's boyfriend who's bigger then you and even though nice, he can fight, and after that's over getting in strange black cars that absorb the heat in summer owned by strangers offering you candy!

That will fuck you over, Troy OUT!

Because i couldn't be bothered not blogging.

2009-09-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

Took this off Nikkida :D *Some answers may be fictional.

Your name without a S?
Owen Nudz

What was the last item you bought?
A condom

What plans do you have for tomorrow?
Get up, eat cereal, take over the world.. Or school.

What are you thinking about right now?
You mean 'Who'

What's the sixth text say in your inbox?
Yo, where's the money. Ima get you if you don't have it. I payed for your kids operation. I need to buy cereal

Who sits in front of you in Maths?
Batman. Wait that's science.

Who sits in font of you in English?
Wonderwoman. Oh wait it's Carmen.

Do you have trouble deleting your text messages?
I have 2000 texts i havn't deleted haha.

Is there something that you haven't told anyone that you actually would like to?
Hrm, I don't think so.

Do you have any pets?
I put all my fish in Nikkida's tank.

When was the last time you were sad?
I don't get sad rly.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
Nope.

What happened at 10AM this morning?
I was in bed?

What time is it?
13 o'clock

What time did you wake up today?
I'm still asleep

Is it warm outside?
No i'm making it hot INSIDE :D

Who's the last person you talked to?
Jenny right now?

What's your favorite color?
Blurple

Where's your mum?
In the kitchen. *refrains from making a sexist joke

Where's your dad?
At work

Are you a happy person?
Always :D

Are you happy at the moment?
Yeah why not.

Are you wearing socks?
Yeah

Who are you going out with?
Nikkidaa (:

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
No way urgh ><

Did you sing at all today?
yeah

When's the last time you argued?
This morning cos i wasn't allowed to go to school. what's with that :L

Are you scared of spiders?
No.

Do you believe in love?
Yeah, i guess so.

Have you done anything you regret in 2009 so far?
Two things.

Do you miss anyone?
Yeah today i did.

What color is your hair?
Orange

Who knows a secret or two about you?
I don't have any secrets

Are you determined to have a better day tomorrow?
Only if i met superman. That would be cool.

Have you met anyone new lately?
Only Superman

Do you dance in public?
Only at social etc

Do you think you are treated right?
Except for one week a month. ROFL.

Who was the last person to look at you like you were crazy?
My dad.

Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
.

Why are you single?
Because no one likes me? oh wait i'm not single :D :D

Whats your middle name?
Jamicles of course.

Tell me about what you' re wearing?
Nothing at all.

What's on your bedroom floor right now?
My bed.

How many windows are open on your computer?
None, i'm scared someone might climb through one and steal my TV. (hahaha, no?)

Are you a shy person?
Never.

How many kids do you want?
Don't ask me that now.

Do you think relationships are actually worth it?
Definately

How did you feel when you woke up today?
Sexy.. What?

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past week?
>>"

What happened at 9:00 am today?
I was in bed.

Whats your current problem?
I last to long.

Are you excited about anything today?
yeah but if i told you, i'd have to kill you.

Do you delete people off of MySpace?
Nope.

Did you cry at all today?
I havn't cried in like a year at least. That's sad. I'm gonna cry D: *contradiction

Is there something you want to tell someone?
No.

Are you ticklish?
YES

Do you use an alarm clock?
YES

Do you trust anyone?
Yeah.

What were you doing at 5 in the morning?
You mean 'who' no 'what' . . jks ;D

What is the last thing you got in trouble for with your parents?
Never do.

On average, what do you think you cry the most about?
Nothing.

What are you listening to?
Hawethorn heights

How many girls would you just love to shoot?
*refrains from making a dirty joke

Who was the last girl you talked to today?
Jenny?

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
School, or back to the world domination thing, if i can be bothered.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
No. But i don't want anything rly more.

Have you ever walked in on people having sex?
YES THREE TIMES, ALL IN CARS WTF ?!

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
Yeah :D

How old do people usually guess you are?
15

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
No idea.

Would you rather your lover have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
She has really nice eyes.

How long have you and your number 2 known each other?
Number 2 as in my clone? Well he was cloned a couple of years back.

How many people do you have 'a thing' for right now?
One

Where is the person you need most right now?
Traveling home i think?

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
You mean in my bed ;D

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
Im a confident person.

Has a boy put their arm around you in the past five days?
Yes.. Daniel...

Do you tend to make things complicated?
Nope, i'm simple i think

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Only superman. But lets not tell anyone ;D

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today?
I know it's pretty average. But i got a text. :L

Huh,

2009-09-19T04:36:00.001-07:00

Seriously, i quit.

fire and the thud aka the I have no idea blog

2009-09-14T04:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while and I don't have any ideas for a new post but I suppose after my rants to Troy on MSN about the pokemon anime I decided to make a post about the current episode I'm watching, as I watch it...

Ash and friends are STILL going to Ecruteak. It's been like 8 episodes WTF.
Oh a Fearow is attacking a messenger Pidgey. Pikachu said 'Pika'. Pikachu sucks. I don't even know what he means when he says stuff.
Theme song. So lame. It's like a remix of the first one. I think someone remixed it and sent it to PUSA. Did you know that the Jonas Brothers sung the opening to American Dragon. heh.
OMFG THE EPISODE IS CALLED CARRYING ON AHAHAHAHAHA
...
Noctowl was sent out. It's shiny. Oh it used Hypnosis. Ok and a Charizard appears for some reason or something I dunno. Fearow flew away. Pidgey still got owned though. Noctowl knocked the Pidgey out. Enter trippy dream sequence. It's over. Brock gives it a bandage or something. Togepi says stuff. They're in a city now. HOLY SHIT MORE PIDGEYS. Kid appears. Every episode there's a kid who promises to meet them again, but never does. This show sucks elephant chode. Well, not really. It was pretty good. Kid says he wants to be a messenger Pidgey trainer. Whatta noob, theres no money in that (though Meowth says otherwise) The people go to the Pidgey coop. Enter retarded old man who calls his Pidgeys Flippy. Fuck this I can't keep up.

So uh anyway, something I don't like eating is yoghurt. It tastes good and all, but it's such a hassle to pour. And close. And if you eat too much you feel sick. Too little and you feels hungry. Also mashed potatoes. Like KFC potato and gravy. It doesn't even taste like potatoes. It's the consistency of goo as well.

That's all from me I guess...I'll post something better when I can

Bad internet adds

2009-09-10T03:38:00.001-07:00

This'll be short but i have to tell you about the really bad adds i've been seeing.

Bad enough seeing stuff like this!

And this is just worse.

I would rather not get ripped in 4 weeks tyvm. That guy, ew.

On Megaupload aswell. So annoying.

Tumblrrlsgl;kajbvlkva

2009-09-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

EDIT: I wouldn't bother reading if i were you :L

So besides having a ridiculous name with badly placed vowels, it's just tumblr? I don't like it okay, everyone says its better but there's something about the obsessive layout that feels like 10 layers of makeup on a ummm.. transgender person. I tried not to be offensive there. Yeah but basically I don't like it okay? So deal with it. I'm going to stick with my badly made blogger account. Actually you'd expect more for google.

Reasons why i don't like tumblr:
1) Stupid name
2) Overdone layouts
3) Superficial (as a web host can be)
4) It should be spelt Tumbler
5) Stupid name
6) I'm going round in circles
7) Nice day today
8) I had to get up early but that's okay
9) I got my dad a dvd, aren't i nice
10) I really dislike Tumblr because it made my write a stupid blog that in the end was talking about absolutely nothing.

Get it?

And another thing, yes i get it my blog is boring but i'm not blogging about my life. I kind of use twitter for that. Really i couldn't be bothered blogging seriously and i don't think anyone would care. So i'm happy here confusing COME with CUM and writing posts that no one cares about. That was optimistic even if it didn't sound it okay? (:

-Troy, OUT!

The Meaning of Life

2009-09-03T04:42:00.001-07:00

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS MANY SEXUAL REFERENCES. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Now it's a widely asked question. What is the meaning of life? I'm here to answer that question.

1) To serve others? Well strippers serve others, and how, by having sex with them. Sex.
2) To enjoy life? Well you enjoy life by watching TV. What's on tv, porn. What do they do in porn, have sex. Sex.
3) To make a difference? Blondes are different to brunettes, and what do they normally do in videos. Have sex. Sex.
4) To premote equality? Well doing it with some one different premotes equality..? Sex.

Serving others+enjoying life+making a difference+Premoting Equality=Sex
The meaning of life=Sex

Didn't see that one cuming did you. Anyone pick up on the sexual reference in that sentence? Niceee.

Troy, OUT!

The brick wall slapped me.

2009-09-03T00:22:00.000-07:00

Fine i wont quit then, jeeze >D

discovery aka the economy is basically sound blog

2009-08-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

The economy. Most of you would have no idea how it works, but being everyone's favourite narcissistic cynical socialist Marxist economical expert, it's my duty to explain the economy and why it is!

1. The Economic Crisis
The cancer that is killing Earth. Idiots borrow money to buy swanky houses/cars/machinery/electronics/condoms, realise they're idiots, don't pay back money, and the banks lose money. Share prices fall, shareholders lose money, don't have as much to buy other shares, and share prices EVERYWHERE fall. So, what does this have to do with us?

Absolutely nothing.

Unless your parents are lowlifes with insecure jobs, it...really doesn't matter. Leave the crisis to the rich shareholders. But no! You people, being newly informed economists, want to save the world from cancer! How do we do it? Tabloids and current affairs shows tell you to save money. Saving money, strangely enough, doesn't work. To save the world, you must spend money! And not on eBay, but in retail stores. Yeah. Spend money and save the world. Machineeee.

2. The Share Market
Companies want money. They decide selling their company would be a stellar idea, so they do. People buy it, complain, blah blah blah. This is unimportant, and NOTHING you say can make me change my mind.

3. 'Ethics' and Poverty
To make money, you have to be ruthless and emotionless. Make like a tree and not care! You've probably heard this from me before, but donating to charity is pointless. It leads to the end of the world. Poverty is like being a truck driver. Not the most glamorous life, but someone has to do it - and it's good for everyone else! Poverty means that poor people will settle for anything. So we pay them very low, prices stay down and everyone's happy! Of course, if we donate to charity, then the poor people will settle for more, so prices rise, and we become poor.
tl;dr poverty is good.

Troy and Alex pick up a hitch hiker?

2009-08-27T03:05:00.000-07:00

So i've decided, without asking Alex mind you, to take on an anonymous hitch hiker. How long he stays for depends on your respose so comment!
ANONYMOUS HITCH HIKER BLOG ONE.

Aboriginal Perspectives Meet GODZILLA!

Okay I know kinda lame, but lame is awesome, don't ever forget that .

(Including Daniel super-ultra-mega-awesome lame funny jokes )

So the reason for this blog is to match up the most epic battle of all time .

But who shall win ?

Like sure there is this guy:

But how do you compare that son of a bitch to THIS ONE !!!

But then again, who would hurt this guy ?

Maybe this guy …

All we know is Godzilla is some huge gigantic green monster random Japanese scream at, whilst Aboriginals are those cool people that got the land for us, which we earned through a hard game of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock :D

WHAT D'YOU GUYS THING? :D

Rap attack we got a nice Rak.. i mean Rakshitha? Duh.

2009-08-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

From Barnes to Zhu who can eat a whole dish.
When we go fishin we catchin a goldfish.
We're so cool, the kids from 9M.
And when we go home, we go on MSN.

I might put all the verses up another day.

I fell in a pool of custard and died. That's ironic. No it's not. What?

2009-08-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah i don't think i'm funny anymore, well a few people think i am but i lost my comedic touch ever since Pinno left, she set me up for such good jokes. Anyway enough of my ranting i want to rant about something!

I'm not really one of those people who really really hats mushy love stuff but i don't like people who use it for no reason. Well it's not that i don't like the people just i don't like seeing random mushy crap that means nothing on their pms. (No i don't care about post menstrual syndrome, i mean PMs) I don't have anything against these people, i'm sure it makes them feel cool and they want to be able to use it one day, but frankly i speak from absolutely no reasoning and logic (i'm more into assumtions), i don't really like it.

Just saying, and not to offend anyone. Everyone has their opinion, i just have enough free time to put mine in a blog, and due to lack of pictures i doubt people will read this.

So until next time i say, be careful of pools of custard, and if people get to complicated for you, try a goldfish :D

-TROY, OUT!

Let's Imagine.

2009-08-26T02:38:00.000-07:00

So imagine there was a kid called Rodger.

A kid called Rodger
A kid with long hair called Rodger
A kid with long hair and no arms called Rodger
A kid with long hair and no arms and no religion called Rodger
A kid with long hair and no arms and no religion and four legs called Rodger
A kid with long hair and no arms and no religion and four legs that were hairy called Rodger
A kid with long hair and no arms and no religion and four legs that were hairy and big ears called Rodger

...So you have a good imagine of this pretty messed up person?

...Guys, Rodger is a horse? Duh.

Why the economy is wasted.

2009-08-24T00:43:00.001-07:00

So the economy isn't so great at the moment. We have people telling us things like:

And it's not helped by this guy:

And companys like:

Also hot girls bathing in money is ridiculous:

In fact there are some people even left homeless:

And this guy:

SO basically instead of spending your stimulus package on drugs, spend it on hookers. THAT'LL STIMULATE YOUR ECONOMY!

-TROY, OUT!

To Die Would be an awfully big adve...rtising campain

2009-08-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

When all else fails:

BULLY TABULI BRO!

2009-08-20T01:03:00.000-07:00

We all know that bullys are bad, right? Yeah i mean actually i would love to have a cyber bully, because you could outsmart him and make good calls so he'd be like beaten at his own game haha. Yeah that would be so funny, and seriously there's a 'block' button there. You can use it.

But i want to point out something important. EVERYONE IS GETTING BRACES. Braces are cool, and i've drawn a diagram to show how it upsets the bully 'food chain.' This illustates a way more fo' shizzle' ecosystem.

Yeah i know, that looks shieeet, click to enlarge :D

So with that i say, If you want to bully, you can bully a snail because it's probably the only thing with an iq almost the same as yours (some snails might even be smarter) and good luck getting straight teeth everyone!
-TROY, OUT!

Jenny and the Casual Get-together Boyz

2009-08-20T00:37:00.000-07:00

SO, SORRY FOR THE LACK OF BLOGGING, I have so much on at the moment my mind is full hehe. ANYWAY, CRAZY THINGS GIRLS CAN MAKE YOU DO :D

1) This:

2) Yeah um, this?

3) Prove you have a huge snake:

4) And of course, make you sing in front of them! (Totally worth it N ^^)

This is a generalisation of course, none of it's happened to me. ;D
-TROY, OUT.

too young, too black to live

2009-08-19T02:17:00.000-07:00

Why Mr Peck is Batman

2009-08-16T00:37:00.001-07:00

(thanks to Daniel)

Why Mr Peck is Batman:
-He admits he goes spelunking, Batman goes spelunking.
-You've never seen Mr Peck and Batman in the same room
-If you draw the 'Bat Symbol' Mr Peck will crash through the window and ask what the problem is.
-Mr Peck beat superman
-If you yell out 'Batman!' Mr Peck will say 'What?'
-A boy dressed up as the 'Joker' and was punched out by Mr Peck.
-Mr Peck gets his Bat Costume dry cleaned, i've seen it.
-Dunununun unununun Mr Peck!

booyah achieved aka the badass post

2009-08-11T04:19:00.000-07:00

Badassery comes from all walks of life. Movie characters. Video games. Your grandfather. But now, let us examine what badassery really is. What badassery manifests itself in. (troy plz for adding pix kthx)

1. Deadpool
Let's ignore that he is freaking Spiderman with freaking samurai swords. Let's also ignore that he does not know what the fourth wall is. Let's ignore that 'YAY NOW IS FIGHTY TIME FIGHTY TIME BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD' is the best catchphrase of all time. Actually, no. Let's not ignore all that.
DEADPOOL IS SPIDERMAN WITH MOTHERFUCKING SWORDS AND HE CAN BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AND HIS CATCHPHRASE IS MOTHERFUCKING 'YAY NOW IS FIGHTY TIME FIGHTY TIME BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD'

2. Light Yagami
Everybody's favourite anti-hero is a Japanese kid who finds a notebook that kills people. He also has an attractive stalker who will pay to blow him. And you know the best thing about that? He doesn't even care. Not once is he excited or anxious about anything. Like he kills people and the most excited he gets is 'Just as planned.' Oh and his only friend is a demon I guess. Badass.

3. Starscream
I don't really know what to say except that he's a robot who can transform into a fighter jet with missiles.

4. Dexter
More serial killers. Dexter is a blood splatter forensic scientist (you heard that right). And if that wasn't badass enough, he runs around torturing and killing bad people also. He also has this cool serial killer smile. Awesome.

5. Cloud
He has Super Saiyan hair.

Oh by the way he also carries a sword with one hand that looks heavier than a car, and is just as big. And he has the Omnislash. The motherfucking Omnislash. He's also a pimp.

6. Jack Sparrow
Unusual choice? I think not. All pirates by default are badass, but add on the fact that he's a legendary pirate, and one of his buddies is Chow Yun Fat (yes, the guy from Bulletproof Monk) and you have one badass yet flamboyant gunslinger.

FRIKKY FRIKKY FRESH

2009-08-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

I da bom c coz dis iz how i roll yh we ganstaZ. i fk u up all da tim 2 mak sure you dun lyk me.

OKAY. People who talk and type like that are so frustrating! I realise you go to a terrible school, and most like learn very little, but honestly, it's just difficult to read. Not only that it makes people spontaniously angry. Like you've heard of people spontaniouly combusting and catching on fire but now you can make people suddenly rage and most like destroy shit around them SIMPLY BY TALKING LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT.

So as promised here i think things i think will get you kicked out of a job:
-NICE DAUGHTER!
-I hit that, and that...oh yeah and that.
-Quit shouting, i can see it gives you wrinkles and baldness
-Wait, what are we selling what again...oh we're a rental business...maybe i should've got that guy's name before selling him a car for $100...
-Right, if customers give me shit, i'll kill them!
-Hmm, so is it okay to rock up high? .. it's not? .. i should leave then.

-Troy

armistice aka the things you shouldn't say in a job interview post

2009-08-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

These will get you insta-banned from any workplace except for McDonalds cause they love paying minimum
wage.
- So, when do I start driving the tank?
- I have SARS.
- Nobody move. There's a ghost in the room.
- Can I bring my Pikachu?
- Why do I want to work here? Uh, it'd look good on my resume when I get a real job?
- BAAAAANKAIIIIII
- Notable skills...I can lick my elbow.
- Any place to stash my drugs?
- so i herd u liek mudkipz
- LOL
- Wow, nice nose hairs.
- Before we get started, do you mind if I smoke?
- Yep, I always wash my hands! *picks nose*
- Do you play WoW?
- If I said I was only here for the cash, would you be mad?
- Love those shoes.

Why dogs will always beat cats.

2009-08-04T02:27:00.000-07:00

See cats always think they're so cool:

But seriously, they are planning some pretty massive stuff!

And you can do so much more with dogs.

Like put them in a bun. :D

Teach them to fly, much like the elephant who flew with his ears, Dumbo was his name:

Your dog might even save your life!

Protect you from scary crabs! D:

Whatever you do, don't get a freakin' dinosaur!

Crazy purple dinosaurs.

-Needs to cover his legal issues, Troy

(I don't own any of these pictures, credit to those who have taken and/or edited them)

In case you are retarded..

2009-08-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY DURING SEX!

-Oh man i left the iron on, be right back.
-Wow, you're dad was way bigger.
-You're brother likes it like this.
-You're not going on top, you're way to fat!
-Do i have to pay for this.
-What was your name again?
-OHH CHUCK NORRIS!
-Oh shit, better feed my bird.
-*sobs* i miss my ex.
-Forgot to tell you, the condom broke half way through.
-Actually, Jimmy Zhu looks way better naked.
-I thought YOU had the handcuffs.
-Baby Penis!
-Honestly it's like sliding a slippery hotdog down a wet hotdog.
-Don't ACTUALLY whip me, it might hurt!
-Hurry up, i have another guy coming soon.
-Haha, now i've done all the guys in your family, oh and your sister.
-I have to poop.
-Wow, i expected something substantial.
-OHH OPTIMUS PRIME!

Um, apologies to those of you who don't get it or really didn't want to read that :D
-Troy

My own google blog.

2009-07-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

Click on these so they enlarge. Well worth reading, i put these together myself.

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What does the future hold?

2009-07-31T01:12:00.000-07:00

What's that crystal ball? You know what it holds for everyone in my year at HAHS? that's pretty specific don't you think? So who has a knife and who has a scalpal. Let's check out my predictions for the 9m people (or the ones i could uhh PREDICT careers for)!

-Lisa: Female version of Jakie Chan appearing in several blockbuster films and generally kicking ass.
-Avi: Professional basketballer in the US in a team that consists enterirely of black guys, i'm predicting they will kick ass.
-Kyleen: Lawyer
-Mel: Childcare worker
-George: Straight hair dresser
-Troy: Music industry, in a kick ass band touring around the world.
-Heidee: Farmer
-Daniel: Brief career as a comedian, Brief career as a stuntman, Brief career in music before falling back on his doctorate in medical science.
-Luke: Scientist
-Jordan: Brief career as a drug dealer before joining the army for a three year course, attenting uni and obtaining an engineering degree.
-Tyrone: Maths super genius, guy who builds super computers, or best prefessional gambler EVER. High hopes buddy.
-Jimmy: Brief career as a KFC manager before becoming a driving instructer.
-Tracey: Doctor
-Sohpiea: Porn star. (so she says)
-Danica: Brief mainstream music career, brief career as a sensual messieurs (google it) before becoming a manager for a large recording company.

Gotta have goals!

2009-07-30T00:22:00.001-07:00

HEY GUYS! HAPPY 1000 VIEWS TODAY, notice the 'best of our blog' box on the right. Check out some previous posts.

So here's a list of things i plan to do before year twelve. Not to entertaining but hey, you might see them. :D

1. Nude run, or close to it.
2. Change Danica P's guitar strings!
3. Get flying lessons.
4. Fly to the moon.
5. Take flying lessons on the moon and compare how thorough they are to Earth's flying lessons.
6. Go out with _____ ______ in our year.
7. Go to Truong!
8. $50 bet with Jordan that Jimmy will get with a girl (come on Jimmy you lose me money ima hit you, anyone want to get with Jimmy, make me 50 bux?)
9. Ride a robo-dracular to the moon escaping ninjas.
10. Run a cupcake stall, putting laxatives in the cakes then locking the toilets.

these days aka the funny google search blog

2009-07-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a collection of some random Google screenshots I took whilst surfing the net today. Enjoy - maybe you'll find some more!

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Ryhming just got cooler

2009-07-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

There is a house at the end of my street
owned by a woman, it's pretty neat
One day she invites me in to eat
I say wow i can feel the heat
She says that's the air con i got last week
Let's have sex it'll be a treat
So we go to the bedroom and i have a peak
She has this rash and her underarms reek
she says she has aids and i say weak

She says she got it off her cat
But it looks really cute in a hat
I say how?! that dirty rat
She says no, not rat, my cat
She told me the story and i sat
And that's when my lab results came back
Turns out i have aids to, how slack
Must have been that cat, the dirty rat.

So we both are the same, no problem, right?
Well honestly there's a big difference in height
didn't seem to matter to her alright
She cam on so strong she gave me a fright
After a while she started to bite
And i held on with all my might
then she pulled out a lighter and set my clothes alight!

I tore them off and she said 'Rad
You look way better naked, then your dad.'
FML.

-Wrote that myself, Troy :D

Troy and Alex pick up a hitch hiker.

2009-07-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

Now alex is driving so i hope he stops to pick up this hitch hiker.

What i mean is: 'THINK YOU'RRE FUNNY? WELL WHY NOT TRIAL TO WRITE HERE. BASICALLY YOU CAN HAVE A GO AT WRITING YOUR FUNNY STUFF HERE AND IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU'RE IN.

Basically we don't really get enough posts up and only a percentage of them are actually good. So i'd be happy to take someone on.

THE HISTORY OF CARS!! :O

2009-07-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah so, we all use cars, but they have a pretty interesting story, here it is.

The creating of cars had to begin with the creation of something else: the wheel.

From that someone came up with this, which we earlier learned was an ancient Transformer *gasp*

Then we got this super sexy thing. (Rowan Atkinson not included)

For some reason, some guy decided to add Time travel as a feature so we got this baby:

Unfortunately, it is very hard to service a Flux Capacitor, so these were never put on the market.

There was a brief period where cars began talking:

So what are we going to travel in, in the future? While a futuristic hover car pops into your head, global warming will be so bad by then, that we will have to resort, to riding children around.

-I think i'm going to regret posting this, Troy.

Exaggerate to Humiliate.

2009-07-23T00:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, some people's blogs are SO boring that it literally HURTS my eyes to read. In face they should begin a service where people pay monthly so the owner of the service does NOT blog. After a while people will think it's okay and let their subscriptions run out, which is where they start blogging THE MOST BORING SHIT POSSIBLE. Then when every one is trying to re subscribe, they hit them, the price has quadrupled. Now this is just a low end estimate but they're looking at a profit of $100,000,000.

Thank you Dr. Cox, and honestly there are some interesting blogs out there. I read six. I exaggerate there, yeah the blogs I read are fairly good. Maybe this blog is boring? Feel free to be honest people.

-Troy

P.S. this made me laugh, so i took a photo.

Haha.

I'm so smart.

2009-07-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

I just realised. You know how in the cbox, you can put a link so it goes there when people click on your name? I should totally put www.redtube.com as my link. yeah, i'm telling you now but that means only people who don't read this blog will click it. TAKE THAT!

Things you don't know about me!

2009-07-20T03:22:00.000-07:00

So you all know me pretty well, right? Maybe not, here are some thing you might not have known. o.O

-I like acoustic songs.
-I have curly hair in my armpits...is that normal? haha right now you're all checking.
-I am actually a secret agent.
-I can run to china and back in three seconds, i'll do it now......done, i'm out of breath now.
-I am actually a super hero called Assumption man, and my sidekick is LOGIC GIRL!
-I only learned how to spell assumption correctly today.
-I have 200 Pokemon cards
-Cabramatta scares me a little.
-I totally think you're amazing, and no i don't mean YOU, i mean someone else. Oh but that might be you, but i mean if you're reading it, YOU don't automatically become the subject of the sentence, the subject is a particular person, get it?
-I don't much like this particular entry

Blah later guys, Troy.

For the Record

2009-07-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

It's Troy ! says:
*okay in three months, promise?
{ NIKKIDAA ! boyceavenue says:
*I promise (:

If the cities burn at least we'll be warm.

2009-07-19T01:08:00.000-07:00

So anyway, was up visiting cousins for few days, was heeps of fun. We went on this 'ghost tour' through an old mental asylum. Got some sweet photos.
So this was our guide:

Anyway i took this:

Then a few seconds before, i took this:

Looks like the shape of a girl on the left! And i swear there was no smoke or anything.

Also went to some cool places:

NEXT TWO BLOGS:
-Things you don't know about me
-Why I SHOULD get girl
STAY TUNED.

-Troy

reactor party aka the rps11 blog

2009-07-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock was popularised by the Big Bang theory, and someone created RPS11, otherwise known as Rock-Paper-Scissors-Fire-Water-Gun-Air-Wolf-Human-Sponge-Black Mage.
I apologise for blogging thrice in quick succession, but this is important. RPS25 and 101 exist for anyone brave enough to try it.
RPS11 is simple.

Rock blunts scissors, stamps out fire, kills human and wolf and outclasses sponge as a projectile.
Paper covers rock, floats on water, fans air, outlaws gun and disproves Black Mage.
Scissors slices air and cuts paper, human, wolf and sponge.
Fire melts scissors, burns human, paper and sponge and cooks wolf.
Water erodes rock, puts out fire, rusts scissors and gun and drowns Black Mage.
Gun shoots through fire, ricochets off rock, outclasses scissors as a weapon, kills human and wolf.
Air puts out fire, erodes rock, evaporates water, isn't resisted by Black Mage and rusts gun.
Wolf eats paper and sponge, breathes air, drinks water and picks on Black Mage's soft armour.
Human writes on paper, drinks water, breathes air, tames wolf and cleans with sponge.
Sponge soaks paper, absorbs water, uses air pockets and cleans Black Mage and gun.
Black Mage throws rock, casts Fire, outclasses gun, stays out of range from scissors and kills human.

Phew. If anyone wants to play, just say RPS11.

Magick pt.2

2009-07-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

If somehow that didn't prove that 2=1, then this will.
a=b
a+a=a+b
2a=a+b
2a-2b=a+b-2b
2(a-b)=a+b-2a
2(a-b)=a-b
2=1

Holy shit, I just divided by zero. O SHI-

So cool it hurts.

2009-07-14T04:55:00.001-07:00

Man this new blog, by Cohen is epic. Second post is gonna be even better so stay tuned! READ THIS! HELL YES.

magick aka the 2=1 blog

2009-07-14T03:36:00.000-07:00

2=1? Impossible! No. 2 does indeed equal 1, and unlike the girls=evil thing (girls are not evil I don't know what I'd do without them) this has algebraic proof.
Given that a=b, the following are also true.
a^2=ab
a^2-b^2=ab-b^2
(a+b)(a-b)=b(a-b)
a+b=b
a+a=a
2a=a
Now applying this to any number, we discover that 2 indeed equals 1. That is all.

Oh no she didn't!

2009-07-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

You know i bet i can agitate 80% of the population with two words: Rnb Sucks. Now i'm sure many of you are on the way to my house with sharp objects now but i can deal with that.

No i don't think Rnb sucks but i don't think you realise several things. All the music is synthesized, you realise they can change the pitch of someones voice to make their singing perfect. Yeah, they could make me sound good, ME!

I'm sure it's great for you to listen to, but honestly most of the artists would fail at any other genre. There's also something off-putting, for me, about listening to music made by machines. Guys and girls with long punk hair playing will always the peak of music, both live and recorded.

Don't mean to sound bitchy but so many people love the genre now and i think it's a lot because of the representation of American culture. Forget that. Rock, metal, puck forever.

-Only alive until the Rnb fans get here, Troy.

P.S. Z is a sideways N :0

Cut you open and mess with your mind.

2009-07-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

Okay...wow do you guys realise i always begin with 'okay' 'alright' or 'like.' Wierd. Anyways like here are some reasons why relationships don't work and some useful tips (tips may not be in any way useful) .

* denotes my personal experience.

- It's never 50%-50% one person always loves a little more.*
- Guys are only in it for sex a lot of the time.
- If you date a guy just because he has blonde hair, it wont work, sorry girls.
- Pecs/Abs of steel does not make the perfect guy.*
- Guys, if you date a girl with implants, she wont have to much trouble getting over you
- Don't aim out of your league or to far under, it wont work*
- If you meet him and he's not wearing pants, it wont work
- If you meet her and she's not wearing pants, it will work for that night or until she is sober again.
- Girls screw with your head for some fun*
- Girls screw you for some fun (:D)
- Guys are only interested in you to get to your way hotter sister.
- in 10% of cases the guy is actually a secret agent.*

If none of that makes sense, this will *

I'm tweeting like a bird, yeh twitter's sent me crazzyy!

2009-07-10T23:43:00.001-07:00

Okay so, like relationships, i've found something else that will fuck you over. Twitter. Now everyone knows about it but some people are really obsessed. I went browsing and i found some funny stuff!

'Been waiting at the doctor's for sooooo long. I'm starving.'
fair enough i guess, waiting at the doctors, it's something to do.

These were in succesion
'Eating a taco'
'Dropped some meat from my taco'
'picked up the meat, should i eat it?'
'okay i at it'
Seriously she actually tweeted that, four different tweets.

By now you might be thinking, well people just like to tweet about what happens to them.

'I'm swimming at the moment'
So i'm thinking 'lol sounds like she has a phone in the pool'
Then she tweets, a minute later.
'Shit think my computer just broke!'
Yeh don't know what's going on there.

The point is people are getting really obsessed with twitter i think, how wierd. And i found those tweets in like 10 minutes.

'i have a confession: I am an addict. Twitter is my addiction'
'Twittering from lunch, realized that I am now a hopeless Twitter addict.'
'hahah become a twitter addict too!! trust me stalking has never been so much fun'

Yeh people know it, well good luck with your twitter addictions, talking to no one. it will just fuck you over.

-Troy

P.s. All those tweets were real, wierdos.

the fall of math aka the formula to success blog

2009-07-09T03:46:00.000-07:00

In life there are many formulas. Whether it's the recipe to the best pizza dough in the world, the secret to kicking a ball 80 metres, or simply c^2=a^2+b^2 where c is the hypotenuse on a right angled triangle, we all know formulas. But have you ever stopped to notice the formulas to success? Successful Italian food, successful footy skills, successful math results, but there's more to it than that. Buckle your seatvelts, as we explore the more obscure formulas to success.

The formula to a successful date with your boyfriend
Beer - clothes = SUCCESS

The formula to a successful RPG
Obnoxiously huge swords + incredibly gelled hair + voluptuous heroine + evil government + conspiracy x betrayal = SUCCESS

The formula to doing good at school
Study - social life / happiness + Asian genes = SUCCESS

The formula to a well-balanced iPod
Music you like + music you'd like to try - Linkin Park / Hannah Montana - 'alternative' music = SUCCESS

The formula to making money
Money^2 = SUCCESS

The formula to a tidy house
Vacuum cleaner + mother - other people = SUCCESS

The formula to self-destruction
MMORPG + slack parents + fast food = SUCCESS

The formula to a blockbuster Hollywood film
Famous actors + New Zealand + script which costed millions + 'cool' name = SUCCESS

The formula to a good MMORPG
Warrior class + 'rogue' class + magician class - grinding + complicated skill tree x hard to get equipment = SUCCESS

The formula to bitchin' hair
Any hair that's not incredibly long or incredibly short + wax or spray - dandruff = SUCCESS

The formula to a great blog
Humour + what the readers want - our life = SUCCESS

Things that will fuck you over

2009-07-08T22:55:00.000-07:00

These things will fuck you over. You are then likely to try again only to be fucked over again.

1. Getting in an unlicensed cab
2. Paying in advance
3. Getting in an unlicensed cab and paying in advance
5. Relationships
6. School
7. Relationships at school
8. Being in a relationship with someone at school and getting in an unlicensed cab, paying in advance
9. Bad music
10. Truong
11. Listening to bad music on the way to truong
12. Being in a relationship with someone at school and getting in an unlicensed cab playing bad music, asking to go to truong and paying in advance.
13. Jimmy
14. Getting crushed by Jimmy
15. Being in a relationship with Jimmy
16. *deep breath* Being in a relationship with someone at school named Jimmy and getting in an unlicensed cab playing bad music, asking to go to truong and paying in advance with Jimmy crushing you most of the way.
17. Friends trying to help who end up making things worse
18. Rumors.
19. Friends who spread rumors

20. Being in a relationship with someone at school named Jimmy and getting in an unlicensed cab playing bad music, asking to go to truong and paying in advance with Jimmy crushing you most of the way while you friends, who are trying to help but are making things worse, spread rumors!

Take whatever you want from that, idc, i'm not really happy right now.

Floating on a CLOUD.

2009-07-06T23:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so unless you're an idiot you'll know that the best game ever created (for it's time) was Final Fantasy 7 for the PS1 console. I played it on my PSP so i feel like i'm not quite a fully fledged fan but i will make up for that!

So anyway, I'm going to go through all the characters for you. Each character gets a SEX RATING out of five as well as an explanation.

1. CLOUD STRIFE

Now here is the main character, probably the one with the most appeal. He carries a huge 'Buster Sword' which automatically makes him super sexy. He's actually pretty messed up, adopting Zack's past as his own but i guess we can all relate to his character a little more then. OH AND it's worth mentioning that Nikkida had a pretty crazy 'love' of this guy for a while so he must be good.

SEX RATING 6/5!!! INSANE SEXY

2. AERITH GAINSBOROUGH

She's the 'ancient.' A flower girl merchant she travels with Cloud for much of his journey. Unfortunatly she dies (and i'm straining my memory here) which was like really sad.

SEX RATING 3.5/5! MODERATELY SEXY

3. TIFA LOCKHEART

Specialising in the martial arts, she was Clouds best friend as a child. They go through some shit with memories coming up. Dressed to impress, she really adds characer to the game.

SEX RATING 4/5! VERY SEXY

4. BARRET WALACE

Barret begins as a terrorist, but we see his nicer side come out later in the game. He has an adopted daughter who he took when his best friend, umm dain? (someone correct me there), died. He's not at all sexy until you see his cannons, and his cannon! That's right the huge muscles and large artilery gun make his character worthwile playing.

SEX RATING 3/5! MODERATELY SEXY

5. RED XIII

YEH THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S A FREAKIN DOG/WOLF THING. Seriously the best pet Cloud could possibly have, he had high strength and looked generally awesome.

SEX RATING 4/5! AS SEXY AS A DOG CAN BE

6. YUFFIE KISARAGI

OK SHE IS HOT. If you were smart enough to obtain Yuffie, she didn't dissapoint you. A ninja, with an awesome dress sense, she was definately the most kick-ass female, also if you play it right you can set up her and cloud on a date AND HE GETS ACTION! yeh, that's right, awesome.

SEX RATING 5/5! SUPER SEXY!

6. VINCENT VALENTINE

I mean, have you seen his cape!? SO damn cool, not to mention his last name is valentine. Another optional character, Vincent carries a kick-ass gun and really looks the part.

SEX RATING 5/5! SUPER SEXY!

6. SEPHIROTH

Seriously what a bitch. I didn't like Sephiroth at all, you know mainly because he was evil and trying to destroy people. He was orionally with SOLDIER but became corrupt with power. He taunts Cloud, killing Aerith *sobs* but Cloud kills him eventually at the end of the game.

SEX RATING 2/5! NOT VERY SEXY, EVIL IS BAD

how I taught myself to scream, aka the album blog

2009-07-06T00:36:00.000-07:00

Hi there! Today I'll be exploring the 'intricacy' of many bands making their albums. Now, when you see that album in the iTunes store or JB, it usually looks something like this.

OK, so you shelled out twelve bucks for the album. And once you put that shiny CD in your computer/player, you'll hear an awesome song. This is cool, but common. The first song of an album is always a hit single, to keep you in the album and to make you listen. In fact, most albums look something like this.

Song Listing
1. Hit Single
2. Good Song
3. This One Is Also Pretty Good
4. Wait, What?
5. Two Crap Songs In A Row?
6. Song Two Or Three With Changes Strategically Made So You Think They're Different, And Also Good
8. Now Entering The Wasteland
9. Why Did I Buy This Album?
10. Please, Let This Be The Last One
11. Incredible Song, Best On The Album, Strategically Placed To Keep You Listening
12. Aaaand, It's Back To Crap
13. Instrumental/Stupid Melodramatic Song

Every pop/rock/RnB album which is not one huge song (like The Ugly Organ, Good News For People Who Love Bad News) will follow this structure. Always. So next time you're shopping for an album, do your research.

Kevin Rudd PM (peroxide man)

2009-07-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

Now we all know KRudd is a stud.

BUT is it just coincidence that he looks like:

MR SHEEN!?

THE KFC KERNAL!?

AND THE MILKY BAR KID!?

That's right. I was beginning to think he was TAKING OVER THE WORLD!
He began to appear in movies like:

HOW TO RUIN A COUNTRY IN 10 DAYS!

KEVIN RUDD, YES MAN!

AND EVEN SOUTH PARK!

THATS RIGHT SO KEVIN RUDD'S FAN BASE IS GROWING AND NOTHING CAN STOP HIM.

Note: Jokes aside he is running the country fairly well and please don't sue me :)

-Troy

you can't spell 1+1 without sexy robots

2009-07-04T00:42:00.000-07:00

Look alex says that, and i quote, 'robots excreting beer from their pelvic areas is neither a turn-on nor a good strategy for me to buy Heineken.'

ALEX YOU ARE WRONG. Look, sex sells products and robots sell products, therefore if you get sexy robots shooting beer out of their roboginas YOU WILL SELL SHIT.

It somehow provides a futuristic reference that none of the desperate guys will have to make embarrassing failures at clubs trying to pick up girls, because they will have their own nerdy simulation robots to meet their 'needs.' That's right, of course they will get shit from guys who actually can pick up girls and those who can actually hold a relationship (and i emphasise the importance of holding a relationship, picking up girls is shallow, picking up robogirls is even more shallow) BUT THEN PEOPLE SEE THE BEER AD and they relate sexy robots to getting wasted and...ok shit i'm lost guys, no idea what i just wrote, i'm tired and i need to get better blog material.

SEX+ROBOTS=SALES

-apologetic for his last two blogs, Troy

Antichrist Television Blues aka the advertising sucks blog

2009-07-03T02:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome. Today I'll be tearing down some of television's worst advertisements. Now I don't know who hires these horrible ad makers, but as Wil Anderson would put it, this ad gives me the shits.

The ad I'm talking about is the Harvey Norman ad. If you're anything like me, well, congratulations on being the 1% of the population with the genes of a supermodel. However, you also probably don't like noises and incoherent prices being thrown at you. Which is precisely what is in these ads. Countless products followed by prices, spat out at the speed of a black man out of water. My ears, eyes and lymph simultaneously seize when I watch, no, endure this advertisement. I don't even know what they're trying to sell! Defibrillator pads for the heart attack I suffer?

Next, the Heineken Draughtkeg ad. Without looking at the screen, you'd think Daft Punk were performing on TV. Off my memory, I can remember 'chill cap pop snap lift pour lock and tap' or something like that. When you take a look at the screen, you see...

...female robots shooting beer out of their roboginas. I'm not even using an image to represent the facepalm I am performing presently. I'm all for using sex to sell a product, but this is ridiculous. Not sure how Troy feels, but robots excreting beer from their pelvic areas is neither a turn-on nor a good strategy for me to buy Heineken.

And lastly we have the infamous (inflammable means flammable? What a world!) McDonald's advertisement. Specifically, the 'Saturday mornings' ad. McDonald's, as you and I both know, are famous. I'd wager that 99.99999% of Australians know of Maccas. But wait Alex! What of the remaining 0.00001% of Australians! Of course, how could I forget! This percentage, despite being roughly 220 people, is somehow worth hundreds of thousands to McDonald's (the price of airing the ad)! These people are newborns, who haven't been eaten by commercial Australia yet. The moment mummy and daddy take their beloved, bald baby home, the TV will be turned on and eventually Maccas will come marching in. Now, if you haven't figured out what's wrong with this picture yet, let me lay it out for you.
The ad shows a 'typical' white Australian family having the hellchildren doom themselves at McDonald's. It's meant to appeal to people who identify with this.
How the hell do newborns identify with this ad? If you want to attract 2 day old soultakers to kill themselves with cholesterol, you use bright shapes, colours, and a bit of crystal meth. My god.

Dim Sum your dumb

2009-07-02T00:29:00.000-07:00

So as you know, on this blog we ask the truly important questions that you NEED TO KNOW. So, is it Dim Sim or Dim Sum. The story starts far back, in ancient Egypt. *flashes back, brother thinks i'm having a seizure and i tell him to fuck off i'm flashing back*

You see the ancient Egyptians used to play the Sims in Dim lighting, hence the name DIM SIM. Now i know you're asking 'how does that relate to the tasty Asian role?' Well the Sims, an ancient game was the equivalent of world of warcraft - very addictive so they invented a food to eat while playing their MMOPRPG (massive multiplayer on pyramid role playing game). Simmilar to the huge number of asian people born in Australia now, this was happening in Egypt. A boy from a school called Hell-Stone Egyptcultural took these DIM SIMS back to China where they were hugley popular. When Egypt was bombed my USA, all the dim sims were wiped out and Asia claimed them as her own. AND THAT, MY READERS, IS THE STORY OF THE DIM SIM.

Even though some disagree:

- alex ; says:
*dude
*its dim sum
*dim sum = fruit
*dim sim = apple
*dim sum = dog
*dim sim = terrier
*capiche
*i'm so asian i turn anyone i touch into an asian
*i know

Thanks.

SICK of PREJUDICE

2009-06-30T02:41:00.000-07:00

Holy Moley, everyone is sick at the moment, and they all automatically assume it's swine flu, haha the media has such a hold over everyone! Why? Well i can answer that question.

WELL you all have the immune system of Kevin Rudd after he visited that strip club. He gained so many STD's they discovered six more! When you were children, you were rugged up, fed drugs when you were sick, and basically it's destroyed your immune system. Fun Fact: my dad grew up on a farm. He has such a good immune system. Now i'm not saying roll in dirt as a baby....wait...yes i am. Build your immune system early and swine flu will run like a fat kid for cake.

Which brings me to my next subject. EMO MUSIC. Farr out you all have such a prejudice against the emo genre and you're listening to it without knowing. MUAHAHAHA. No i mean so many bands are 'emo' and you still love them. Then someone mentions the emo genre you go 'AHHH FUCK MY EARS, DON'T CUT ME.' NO GUYS, WE JUST WROTE LIKE TEN ESSAYS ON PREJUDICE. Check out bands like Escape the Fate, Story of the Year and Good Charlotte (ok i don't like good charlotte) but they're mainstream. THATS RIGHT EMO MAINSTREAM. Emo is good. Don't pre-judge. Fuck. Oh bad morning this morning, just to let you know.

-TROY!

Things I would teach my bird to say (or what my bird would learn on its own):

2009-06-29T03:27:00.001-07:00

- Put your damn hands up and give me the cash.
- MARCO I HAVE THE DOCUMENTS
- UH YEAH HARDER HARDER
- Welcome to Norton Furniture, Pty Ltd. For customer support, please press my right wing.
- Self destructing in 3, 2...
- Nice shoes, and by nice I mean 'wow, where did you buy that, that is worth negative dollars, that's how hideous it is.'
- THE WORLD IS ENDING! WE'RE DOOMED! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- lemonparty.org! lemonparty.org!
- Is that a unicorn?
- Hi. Your music taste sucks. That is all.
- my loony bun is fine Benny Lava
- Let's play the penis game! PENIS
- Four score years ago...
- DEUTSCHLAND DEUTSCHLAND

Things I would teach my bird to say.

2009-06-28T02:15:00.000-07:00

-I disagree
-Polly wants some crack
-GET DOWN THERE'S A BOMB
-There's something on you're back
-I have planted a bomb in your car
-He poisoned the food
-He keeps his son in the basement
-I've had to much grog
-You wanna fuck?
-Take your top off!
-Wow you've reached a new level of ugly
-You look pretty, pretty ugly!
-NO I DO NOT WANT A FREAKIN CRACKER!
-I know what you're hiding
-I have your family so feed me
-I Know you are but what am I?
-Look at the bird if you're an idiot
-Get me some porn
-You as stupid as troy says you are?

Like i'll just keep it at the front door so it can talk to anyone who comes in.

B-B-BAM BAND BITCH BAYBAY

2009-06-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

LIKE SORRY for double posting but i want to blog twice, even though i should be doing english :D

BAND REVIEW #1: RISE AGAINST
Rise Against is an American punk rock band from Chicago, Illinois, formed in 1999. Their current lineup consists of Tim McIlrath (vocals, guitar), Joe Principe (bass guitar), Brandon Barnes (drums), and Zach Blair (guitar).
So i've been listening to Rise Against for a while now, probably one of my favourite bands of all time. Albums in order of release:

The Unravelling
Revolutions Per Minute
Siren Song of the Counter Culture
The Sufferer of the Witnesses
Appeal to Reason

First thing i wanna say is 'The unreavelling' and 'Revolutions Per Minute' were rubbish. Horrible. Songs went for two minutes, and were shit. Moving on from that, the other three albums were FREAKING AMAZING. Every song was good, all the way through the album. Not only that but they are awesome live, mainly because lead vocals are actually good and not synthesised crap.

WOW that was incredibly subjective, haha, look them up!
-Troy

The Thingy with a Screen and a wheel.

2009-06-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

Yeh i came up with that title i was pretty proud. are you proud of me? Anyway thought i'd give you a look at my ipod.

ARTISTS
The Academy Is..
Aerosmith
Alesana
The All-American Rejects
All That Remains
Anti Flag
Arch Enemy
As I Lay Dying
Avenged Seventhfold
Between the Buried and Me
Bleeding through
Blink 182
Boys like Girls
Breaking Benjamin
Bullet For my Valentine
Children of Bodom
Chris brown (don't ask)
Curse your Name
Cute is what we aim for
Death Cab for Cutie
Disturbed
Dragonforce
End of Fashion
Escape the Fate
Faker
Foo Fighters
The Fray
From Autumn to ashes
From First To Last
In Flames
Jimmy Eat world
Less then Jake
Lifehouse
The Lonely Island
Lostprophets
Machine Head
Madina Lake
Metallica
Mudvayne
Muse
New Found Glory
Nickleback
The Offspring
Paramore
Parkway Drive
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Rise Against
Secondhand Seronade
Shadows Fall
Six Feet Under
Slayer
Slipknot
Static-X
Stone Sour
Story of the Year
Strike anywhere
Sum 41
Symphony X
System of a down
Tenacious D
Three Days Grace
Trivium
The Veronicas (again don't ask)
3 Days Grace
3 Doors Down

All full albums, mind you. I don't listen to all of them.

Bus driver sacked for being porn star

2009-06-22T04:02:00.000-07:00

Google the title if you haven't seen this. A bus driver, Audrey (Belgium Miss Nude 2006, put your pants back on homos) was fired from her job after nude photos of her were discovered.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

There's so many things wrong with this it's sad. First, what was the boss doing looking up pictures, never mind NUDE pictures of an employee. To put it in the words of a certain someone, that company is horny kient long time. I don't go around looking up pictures of our faithful readers (that makes one of us, not sure what Troy does). The media have glossed over this. And before you say 'employers must do background checks', this very attractive woman had already passed driving tests and had was said to be a popular driver (I wonder why).

Secondly, private and personal lives do not affect each other in something as trivial as bus driving. If I play Halo in my free time, am I not allowed to be a chef? Hell no. Freaking stupid employers.

And apparently the person backing the sacking was a female too. I can just imagine her thoughts.

'This bitch will take my position! I'm meant to be the attractive [sic] female bus driver!'

And I conclude this post with a musing.

What is the point of huge hole punches?

I'll Serenade Before i Tell.

2009-06-20T18:17:00.000-07:00

Well i realise that, like the anonymous 10 people idea, this has a good chance of spreading like swine flu in a crowded room of rich people with no immune system (i love metaphors). Then again this probably takes to long for regular bloggers.

SONG BLOG (SBLOG)

1. MEL: 'And i can't tell if you're laughing, between each smile there's a tear in your eyes' Paper wings-Rise Against.

2. NIKKIDA: I want you to know, I wont let go, hold onto this moment with my heart and soul, I wont let go. :]

3. DANICA P: 'you're gonna go far kid' You're gonna go far kid-The Offspring

4. VANESSA: 'thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great' TFTM-Fallout Boy

5. COHEN: 'We're the first ones to jump in line, Outta step for what we believe in, But who's left to stop the bleeding' Still Waiting-Sum 41

6: MEL (FROM JOSS): 'can i touch your legs, do i make you sweat' Kiss me I'm Contagious-From First to Last. (inside joke there)

7. DANIEL: 'Don't hide your mistakes, Cause they'll find you and burn you' Get out Alive-Three days Grace

8. DANICA H: 'I know that people change but you just stay the same. You would swear, On your grave, That you would never become exactly what you hate.' Onto the Next one-Escape the Fate

9. GEORGE: 'Should I bite my tongue, Until blood soaks my shirt?' Until The Day i Die-Story of the Year

They all have meaning in some way or another.
- Troy

the recluse, aka the random musings blog

2009-06-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

today I weighed myself and I weigh 29 kilograms with clothes. my bmi is 16, which nearly underweight. awesome. now if I were a stereotypical blogger then that would be it but you can hardly call a blog where one of the recent blogs regarded ugg boots stereotypical. weight to me is a concept dreamed up by the media to get you to buy things. who the fuck cares how fat you are, if you feel good then no worries. of course this is funny coming from someone who orders the lean beef burger at macca's cause it tastes good, and snacks on lettuce and tomato with lemon juice and olive oil. damn I love olive oil if it was cheap I'd put it on everything

so apparently every male alive is concerned about their penis size (smooth segue aha). of course it is irrational to say I don't care at all, but honestly if I was any bit worried about genital health I'd be more concerned about the testes because oversized testes aren't healthy

my epic pet wars pet is über strong

I find the 'I accidentally' meme really funny. stuff like 'I accidentally the whole house is this ok' is so messed up. chk chk book is hilarious too. memes IMO are a great representation of human psych and our ability to find the most obscure things humourous. mudkipz for lief

I'll write a stupid blog later when I get some material

I would like to advise you...to get a life!

2009-06-19T18:53:00.001-07:00

Um, why? Do you act like you hate yourself?
Do you act like you hate everything around you?
Do you follow others like you're a sheep?
Do you do stupid things for attention?

Do you think? You will get attention?
You will get pity?
It makes you seem mature?
Pushing people away gets you anywhere?

Sorry to tell you. It doesn't make you an individual.
It makes you seem small and bitter.
You USED to be cool.
People change.

Seriously, think about it. Sorry to sound bitter.
-Troy

Clouds for your feet?!

2009-06-18T00:18:00.001-07:00

Like, it's Saturday morning and my feet are cold so i want to talk about UGG BOOTS. Socks are for losers (unless you have socks like this of course)

Anyway ugg boots are the superior form of shoes and socks.

Perfect for people who want to look stupid and over-casual in public.

Perfect for blonde mothers who still think they are young.

Perfect for Paris Hilton without makeup. HA!

And even perfect for dogs :D

YES, with a pair of ugg boots you will be warm while looking utterly ridiculously if you choose to wear them in public. Still, saying that, i quite enjoy my wool laced boots and i recommend that you all buy a pair asap.
-Troy

ten letters to ten people aka the 'I couldn't resist' blog

2009-06-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

1. holy shit dude your spaceship is huge. like I see how you can buy stuff from the andromeda galaxy now, that warp drive is sweet.
2. you have to stop randomly killing people because murder is illegal
3. you need to read up on idioms and shit because when someone says 'I'LL KILL YOU' they don't actually mean it. I hope you're happy that eleven people are in jail or dead because of you
4. you are the awesomest person on the planet except you're dead. sucks to be you
5. remember when we robbed that bank? that was cool but don't kill me it's not my fault the cops arrested you
6. you are so knowledgeable. you know why kids love cinnamon toast crunch
7. contrary to popular belief dressing as a female does not make girls like you
8. transform and roll out
9. man it's so cool how you basically run the whole world. you are the equivalant of a chode though. remember that you can't die so you can do whatever I suppose
10. NIGGA STOLE MY BIKE

You can't spell successful blog without 'troy disagrees'

2009-06-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

EDIT: Alex needs to clear up misconceptions in tone when writing.

Ok Alex makes some good points below but i feel it my duty to society to fix up some wrong points he makes.

2. use an unnecessarily complicated blog template. people enjoy clicking seven times to read a single entry. Wrong, while this looks good it scares stupid people away. Also, it makes your blog hard to find and at the end of that effort the blog would have to be exceptional.

7. never blog about stuff that will cause a reaction. the LAST thing you want is for people to discuss your entries Wrong, the reason we blog is to cause reaction. Good or bad is subjective.

8. if you are going to blog about your life, ensure it is as average as possible. Wrong, for obvious reasons people want to read something INTERESTING.

8.031. if you blog about dogs make sure they are attractive. Wrong, my dog is attractive. Duh.

The rest i completely agree with, oh except it's fine to type lower case 'i' .
-Troy

how to make a successful blog

2009-06-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

this is how to generate blog traffic

1. have a totally unique, out of the ordinary name that is ridiculously hard to type. this will make people remember it
2. use an unnecessarily complicated blog template. people enjoy clicking seven times to read a single entry.
3. do not, ever, blog about stuff you want. do not blog from the heart. blog about what people think is cool in the high chance that the guy that plays vampire boy will read it. VERY LIKELY SINCE HE STALKS PEOPLE
4. for fuck's sake DO NOT use any host that is not blogspot. blogspot is idiot proof and since vampire guy is an idiot, he won't be able to read wordpress
5. Always type in proper English. However, always replace 'you're' with 'your' and vice versa. This will show you make an effort to look smart, but deep down you just want to entertain.
6. update as much as possible. vampire boy will refresh your blog every twenty-four seconds to check for an update.
7. never blog about stuff that will cause a reaction. the LAST thing you want is for people to discuss your entries
8. if you are going to blog about your life, ensure it is as average as possible
8.031. if you blog about dogs make sure they are attractive
9. name every blog entry ATLANTIC BOOKSHELF TUESDAY. this is somehow cool
10. ???
11. PROFIT (if you choose to monetize your blog)

You can't spell dog without og.

2009-06-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Like so Lisa got a puppy, see it here www.lisaleek.blogspot.com . Anyway i thought I'd give you a look at my dog. It was kinda hard to dig up photos of her as a puppy but this is Ruby lol.

Yeh but that was like years ago, shes a big noob now.

Still, she's pretty smart. She can tell if you're happy, sad, hurt or angry and she does what she's told aswell.

-Troy

Anonymously, i can hate anyone i want.

2009-06-10T22:34:00.001-07:00

HA! its gone. Yeh, i only wanted to put it up temporarily as it wasn't in the spirit of our blog thanks.

Jason Mraz (also known as the lack of a good blog title)

2009-06-10T03:35:00.000-07:00

The Queen of Sparkadia was in trouble. Her country was in war. People were dying left and right, and she had to Escape Velocity. Travelling on a Train, she reached the Neutral Milk Hotel, the refuge of peace-loving people. However, later that night, she received word that her country had been taken over. At this point she realised that she was the Hope Of The States. With her Third Eye Blind, she trekked to the Metro Station where she met the mighty warrior Of Montreal. Together, they were known as the Snow Patrol. 3 Doors Down from their camp, some Foals were creating a Gyroscope that would end the war. However, when Snow Patrol saw it, the Foals screamed Los Campesinos! Disturbed at the foreign language, the pair simply stood still. Then one of the Foals spoke up. 'Does It Offend You, Yeah?' he said. 'Well take this! Hadouken!'

then they were dead forever and ever and ever and ever. the end

Dinosaurs are cool and here's why

2009-06-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

here's a list of things I don't care about

2009-06-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

Poverty
The UN
Talk shows
Warm beer
Cold beer
Whether or not Chrono Cross is better than Trigger
What you did today
FML (you cannot fuck your life, I cannot insert my penis into it nor can a woman insert life into her vagina)
Blonde jokes
Jennifer Aniston's new cat
Falling in love with pixels
Falling in love with ink blobs
Most opinions
Kim Chi
Communism
Marks
People who think saying PURPLE FLYING REFIGERATORS every six seconds is 'random' and makes them cool
The live action Transformers movies
Shia LaBeouf in general
Musical oppression
Animal cruelty
Plasma screen televisions
Listening to music at maximum volume and pretending you can still hear people
Hardcore conservatives
13375/'34|<
Shortening 'you' to 'u'
Saying 'your' instead of 'you're'
Accountants
Bad sarcasm
Humour in inappropriate situations
Laughing when you don't get a joke
How many Australians died in war
War
Slurring your voice
When you go to bed
People committing suicide
Charity
Spending money on online video games

By the way, there are NOT 261 words in this blog entry

I Spy 27 Bands

2009-06-05T23:43:00.000-07:00

You know there are few people in the world who will Rise Against sterotypes, but I'm one of them. I live at Madina Lake. I would definately take a Bullet for my Valentine even though people often say I'm a Modest Mouse. There was someone who once told me I was a Lostprophet but they were the Offspring of Ozzy Osbourne so i didn't believe them.

One day however i lost confidence an it felt like I was Six Feet Under and i started to tie a Slipknot when Jimmy began Eating the World! He would Strike Anywhere and despite being Stone Sour, i decided to join the Foo Fighters and enter The Fray in the fight against Jimmy. He was on a Loney Island and i screamed 'Curse your name, Jimmy!' He then began Breaking Benjamin, one of our best fighters. I knew Between the Buried and Me, Benjamin would be Avenged Seventhfold.

He was my Arch Enemy. I suddenly realised he had a Machine Head and i began to Rage Against the Machine. As he Lay Dying he screamed 'Dragonforce' and the island was destroyed In Flames, the Foo Fighers only just getting out alive. All That Remains now is a small island of dirt where Shadows Fall.

That was my story i wrote it myself using band names thanks for reading.
-Troy

Album Review 1: Cursive - The Ugly Organ

2009-06-05T03:27:00.000-07:00

The Ugly Organ is a different album. It's what you would expect from an experimental indie band, though. Cursive have pulled off one of the most moving albums of the 21st century in just over half an hour.
Organ follows the story of a man, known simply as the Ugly Organist, as he experiences things like murder and empty sex, yet manages to shrug it off and continue living. It's unique in that the only reason it is split into songs is so people can find their favourite section. The songs flow effortlessly into each other. A cello quietly plays during the song, creating a melodramatic yet eerie theme. The vocals and lyrics fit perfectly in, and the organ, played by the Ugly Organist defiantly plays, like he doesn't realise a band is playing his story.

The album opens with noises of kids laughing and the Organist playing for a crowd. At this point, the band breaks in, as we are introduced to the harsh life of the Organist in Some Red Handed Slight Of Hand. From there, tales of murder, betrayal and confusion unfold, before finishing with an almost tear-jerking finale in the form of Staying Alive (real men don't cry but I swear I know someone who did).
This album is nothing short of incredible. It is stellar, superb, fabulous, fully tabouli, bitchin' and any other superlative you can think of.

Song Listing
1. The Ugly Organist
2. Some Red Handed Slight Of Hand*
3. Art Is Hard
4. The Recluse
5. Herald! Frankenstein
6. Butcher The Song
7. Driftwood*
8. A Gentleman Caller
9. Harold Weathervein
10. Bloody Murderer
11. Sierra
12. Staying Alive*

* denotes songs I especially enjoyed

This album gets 95 out of 100 cellos.

Why Dinosaurs are Stupid.

2009-06-04T16:29:00.001-07:00

Well there are some historians and archeologists that think dinosaur were intelligent creatures. WELL THEY ARE NOT! No you see Dinosaurs were stupid, stupid people and I'll explain why using this time machine. *revs car and accelerates to 88 miles per hour at which point the flux capacitor kicks in and sends us back to the future...i mean past*

Im going to start with this guy.

I mean look at his arms! They're so little! Like do some weights or something dude because you won't get girls purely with your charming smile.

HE ADMITTED IT!!!!

See dinosaurs were also stupid enough to be enslaved by humans.

And generally stupid things, just end up like this guy.

"There's a meteor coming, lets just stand here and do nothing."

Well that's it from me today, thanks,
-Troy

C-c-c-c-counter blog!

2009-06-01T05:04:00.001-07:00

As usual, I disagree.

That first paragraph was a shot at me. Screw you, and remind me to make Vanessa anal probe you with drumsticks. There's one reason why people set their status as away and write 'out' as their PM. Their computers have low RAM and take ages to sign into MSN. It's a lot more convenient to set your status to Away. You could also set it to appear offline, but then you'll miss important things that people might want to say to you!

By the way, do not do this to make yourself look like you're too busy for the Internet. You know who you are.

Twitter is pretty dumb but I'm not gonna make a long tirade about it especially since everybody and their pet crocodile uses it. You know me, I can find fault in everything. My only argument is that if you don't want to read about people's bodily functions, then don't. Free speech and thought is part of the Human Rigts Declaration. Twitter is like pot - you can enjoy it, but if something bad comes out of it, then you shouldn't complai since it's your fault.

Speaking of finding faults, how bad is Australia at stopping swine flu? Hundreds of Australians have it now, cause we can't control it. Take a leaf out of (wait for it) North Korea's book for a change. No I do not mean go communist and make WMDs, I mean start limiting immigration. Emigration is great, since we can pass on this disease to the world, then take it over!

ahem

You're standing in front of me but i have to ignore you? ILL TWITTER ABOUT IT!

2009-06-01T03:30:00.000-07:00

U know what pisses me off? People who put their status as away then write something like 'I'm out.' If you're out then why do you have to be online?

This is a good question. 'Im studying,' SO WHY ARE YOU ONLINE? Like its just really annoying to have to stare at someones little picture (cos i put like everyone in my favorites) i mean its almost as bad as twitter.

TWITTER. Now i use twitter, i feel its my obligation and you know its a little like World of Warcraft you do get a little addicted, but i don't know. There's something about reading every little detail of someones life that feels...uneasy. Some things should be kept to yourself, for the sake of others feeling and others general comfort. And some people can be a little revealing about their feelings...and bad bodily functions. 'Yeh i have this really bad genital rash, here are some pictures.' U know how do u think people will respond to that?

Well thats about it for me, pointing out the flaws of others :]
-Troy

WOW im on ICE

2009-05-29T00:52:00.000-07:00

Why World of Warcraft (wow) and drugs are the same:
1. Both very addictive
2. Both fun
3. Both make u kill shit to level up *looking at you hallucinogens*
4. Sometimes you die.
5. Cohen can't spend a day without doing either.

HAHA no im kidding about number five :}

Wheres waldo?

2009-05-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Ok first sorry i haven't blogged in a while u know been busy been hard to find a spare moment i need like a room where no one can bother me sometimes...u know a room filled with porn? no no i was serious about the room there are other uses as well.

TO THE POINT. remember when u used to look for waldo? WHY?! WTH IS THE POINT? i mean u get a small triumphant moment before u realsise 'wait i could've used that half an hour to talk to my girlfriend or finish with that hooker round back. i paid for the hour after all.'

I mean do i have to look through the whole stadium? Can't i just page him over the PA?

After all maybe he's busy?

THEN WHEN YOU FINALLY FIND HIM ITS LIKE

So next time someone asks you to find waldo tell them 'I DONT KNOW OK? CALL HIS MOBILE!

-Troy

2009-05-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

We'll its been a while since ive tried to write an actual entertaining blog (not a pissy disagreement with Alex). So today id much like to talk about people who are afraid of getting old. Sure none of us like it. None of us want to shrivel and die but its a fact of life that at some point we are going to look like this and most of us learn to accept it.

However there are those few such as the 'baby boomers' who refuse to get old and wind up like this guy.

PLAY CHESS AND WATCH AGATHER CRISTIE! YOU ARE NOT WOLVERINE!!!

So with that i say raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree, and write 55378008 into a calculator. You will be pleasently surprised. Thanks!
- Troy

Swine Flu

2009-05-08T04:50:00.000-07:00

Facts about swine flu.

1. Swine flu is actually a living organism that burrows into your brain and makes you think you're sick until you actually are.
2. Swine flu is indestructible. It can survive nuclear fallout.
3. In an average household, there are 2030 things swine flu can kill you with, including the house itself.
4. Swine flu is incredibly well disguised as maple syrup. DO NOT CONSUME MAPLE SYRUP.
5. Swine flu's first victim was a woman who died of respiratory issues. This was swine flu filling her lungs.
6. Swine flu is great with waffles. DO NOT CONSUME SWINE FLU.
7. Swine flu only kills idiots, however. There have been 2 deaths in America, and none in any other country bar Mexico. Go figure.
8. Crude oil is actually a highly evolved form of swine flu. When exposed to heat, swine flu becomes pissed off and explodes.
9. You cannot get swine flu by eating bacon, ham or pork. Swine flu knows these meats are good. Stay away from goat though.
10. Swine flu has nothing to do with pigs. It stands for Satanic War Institution of Ninja Enforcers - Forbidden Lethal Unit.
11. Swine flu is your father.
12. Swine flu reproduces by laying its eggs inside Mexican humans, then bursting out of their chests.
13. Do not try to fight the flu. Instead, only realise the truth. There IS no flu.

I disagree

2009-05-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

Well yeh vinyl is everlasting. Vinyl has amazing sound quality and u cant compare it to a 4mb mp3. But u give a very one sided argument. The reason people dont want to buy vinyl is coz its freakin expensive! Its not portable, and most of all u cant pirate it. I would much prefer they forced us to buy music. Of course we pirate if the oportunity is there. But forcing people to pay $20 for one track they can only listen to on a huge player. is . rediculous.

So basically to put things in perspective. Only popular artists with lots of money would bother doing vinyl. They created cds for a reason and u cant say that if u have a vinyl record of 'lynard skynard' or 'clearence clear water revival' that it will have the same effect when u were young and full of weed.

We have a few vinyl records. Very, very impractical.

-Troy